Je parle le français!!

Today, in a little room, at the very top of a gorgeous French house, next to a river and surrounded by giant vegetables, I had my very first french lesson.

There were 3 Englishmen (including Sam), 2 Scots, 1 Irishwoman and my Mum and I who were the only Aussies. We were also the only temporary visitors as the others have all moved here permanently. (How nice would that be!)


Jenny, the English French teacher, was kind, funny and just generally fantastique! And since it was out first lesson, she thought it better to cover "survival techniques" more so than language skills. Because, as my mum and I have discovered, it takes a lot of getting used to living in France!

She explained why the French drive in the middle of the road (instead of the right side), something which has been driving Sam quite mad! Apparently, there used to be a rule in France that cars entering a main road from a little road on the right side, have right of way. Priorité à droite. (Priority from the right.) But many people still observe this rule and so drivers on the main road stick to the middle as to avoid the turning traffic. (Quite smart of them really!)

She also reminded us not to get to upset with the French when they don't understand English. If someone came up to you in the supermarket talking a foreign language, you would no doubt stare up them blankly and become slightly irritated as well. And while it is true that the French learn English at school, apparently the lessons are more focussed on writing English and not so much on speaking it. But she assured us too, that the French think our accent is cute when we think it sounds as though we're murdering their language, so we should have a try and not be embarrassed. :)

But Jenny also gave us some great advice for when we're trying to speak and understand French. The first one would have been handy a few days ago when my mum let the poor roof man speak to her in French for 5 minutes, all the while silently staring at him. Even when he finished she just stared. And then he stared. Eventually, Sam had rescue them both and explain that she didn't speak French and have him start all over again.

Stop! Plus lentement s'il vous plait!! Stop! More slowly please!!

And then instead of just telling people that you don't speak French (which won't help you learn the language) you should say:

Je ne parle pas très bien le français. I do not speak french well.

Then there are also the basic apologies and requests that one must use:

Répétez. Repeat.
Désolé. Sorry.
Pardon? Pardon?

However, I'll add a few "survival" phrases of my own to this list.

Puis-je avoir un peu de chocolat s'il vous plaît? Can I have some chocolate please?
Où sont les toilettes? Where's the bathroom?

Quel chemin à l'hôpital? J'étais juste mordu par le chien. Which way to the hospital? I was just bitten by the dog.

Lucky for me, the chocolate shop lady understood pointing, the confused man understood baño (Spanish for bath) and the dog bite hadn't actually broken the skin.

But I am starting to realise that I'm going to have to learn some French language and culture very quickly, because it is really difficult to do anything much at the moment. (We've so far been thrown out of both cafes before we even walked through the door.) Though, we are going to give the movies a crack tonight. I wouldn't think going to the movies in France could be so different to in Australia, but with the Frenchies, they will have no doubt thought of a way! Wish us luck!!

Français (with a capital) refers to a French man while français (with a lowercase f) refers to the French language. While Française with a capital and an e at the end is a French woman! Confusing, non?!